The Republic of Procession in Crypt is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, prohibition of alcohol, and smutty television. The hard-nosed population of 3.853 billion Procession in Cryptians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 29.4%.

The large but inefficient Procession in Cryptian economy, worth 196 trillion deniers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 50,920 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians bribe ten-year-old geniuses to sit their aptitude tests, research grant proposals read like political diatribes, the police force is on a recruitment drive, and supervisors in Procession in Crypt commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Procession in Crypt's national animal is the crocodile, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Procession in Crypt is ranked 129,132^nd in the world and 97^th in The Works of M C Escher for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 1,844.21 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.